Family & Children’s Services recommends a number of resources to help those directly and indirectly impacted by the May 20, 2013 tornado cope and recover:

Quick Tip: Common responses to trauma

Quick Tip: Dealing with grief

Quick Tip: Knowing when to ask for professional help

Oklahoman: Helping children cope

NCTSN: Parent guidelines for helping children

NCTSN: Questions to ask your children

NCTSN: Tips for parents on media coverage

NCTSN: What parents can do to help themselves

Oklahoman: List of agencies collecting donations  

U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs: Resources for Survivors and Public Following Sudden Trauma

The online auction closes at 9 a.m. Monday, June 3.

Click here to visit our online auction!

Brainiac Ball kicks off at 6 p.m. June 1 in the Tulsa Convention Center ballroom. Event co-chairs Jennifer Johnson and Laura Revella invite know-it-alls and party animals alike to attend the “smart casual” soiree.

A lively team trivia event is a perennial highlight of Brainiac Ball. This year’s challenge, hosted by local genius Josh Richey of Live Event Trivia, is sure to entertain and challenge the 2012 championship team from ARVEST Bank and others looking to match wits for a good cause.

Brainiac Ball also features a fun wine toss, a Moody’s “Flash Your Bling” raffle, a crazy hat contest, an online auction opening May 17 and an impressive live auction. A few of the premier packages up for bid in the live auction include: an elite golf package with rounds at Southern Hills Country Club, The Patriot Golf Club and Karsten Creek; a gorgeous, 6-week-old Goldendoodle puppy; a best of Brady district package featuring a three-course meal at the vibrant new Arts & Humanities Hardesty Arts Center, cases of coveted Far Niente Chardonnay and Cabernet Sauvignon, a progressive shopping party and several dream vacations.

New this year to Brainiac Ball is the “Best of Live” raffle. Family & Children’s Services will sell only 250 “Best of Live” raffle tickets; one winning ticket will be selected at random on May 28. The winner will get a live auction item of his choosing. Individuals need not be present at Brainiac Ball to participate in the “Best of Live” raffle, and tickets are available for $50 each.

Nearly 550 guests attended last year’s Brainiac Ball, raising $435,000 to heal abused children, strengthen families in crisis, and set individuals battling mental illness and addiction on the path to recovery. Family & Children’s Services hopes to raise more than a half-million dollars at this year’s event.

Members of the Brainiac Ball committee include Jennifer Cooper, Marianne Ballard, Denise Redmond, Julee Thomas, Elizabeth King, Mary Sherwood, Marjo Burk, Mary Husband, Sara Dale, Marty Hutton, Jenny Kinzie, Dana Linner, Andrea Siegler, Mary Grossi, Patty Heckenkemper, Ann Pettus, Carey Cole, Tina Parkhill, Laura Mantooth, Pam St. Clair, Saletha Fuller, Celeste Davis, Mary Morrell, Vicki Casey, Sheri Colpitt, Joan Robson, Mary Fox and Teresa Slagle.

The presenting sponsor of Brainiac Ball is Cyclonic Valve Company, Inc. Genius sponsors are Bette and Michael L. Graves, George Kaiser Family Foundation, Charles and Lynn Schusterman Family Foundation, and Williams. Merit scholars include Apache Corporation, Ruth Nelson and Tom Murphy, and Sisk Trust. Valedictorian sponsors are BancFirst, Bank of America, Erin and Don Chappel, Commerce Bancshares Foundation, Dollar Thrifty Automotive Group, Frederic Dorwart, Lawyers; Hall, Estill; The Helmerich Trust, HILTI, Laura and Max Mantooth, Ralph and Frances McGill Foundation, Monica Murray, Statewide General Agency, Inc.; Vicki J. Vaniman, T.D. Williamson, Inc.; WPX Energy and Zarrow Families Foundation.

“In this program, I have become a strong, confident, compassionate woman. I have found joy in life and peace within myself,” said Amy Collins, a graduate of Women in Recovery. “I have become a better mother, friend, sister, daughter, granddaughter and employee. I am proud of who I am today.”

WIR is an alternative to incarceration for nonviolent female offenders in Tulsa County who have alcohol and drug addictions. The program includes one year of intensive treatment and services, allowing participants to successfully return to their families and communities. WIR is a program of Family & Children’s Services in Tulsa and George Kaiser Family Foundation is its lead funder.

“George Kaiser Family Foundation is proud to support Women in Recovery,” said Ken Levit, executive director of the foundation. “Our foundation is dedicated to breaking the cycle of poverty in Tulsa, and if we can help these women to get their lives back on track and become productive members of society, then they will be able to focus on their children and setting a good example for them in the future.”

Levit provided the introduction at the ceremony, while T. Hastings Siegfried, vice chairman of The NORDAM Group, was the featured speaker.

“It is inspiring to see the great accomplishments made by these women,” said Siegfried. “Each woman has a unique story with a variety of obstacles to overcome and Women in Recovery has played a large role in assisting with their success.”

In order to qualify for WIR, the women must be 18 years of age or older, involved in the criminal justice system and of imminent risk of incarceration, ineligible for other diversion services or courts and must have a history of substance abuse.

One important aspect of WIR is reunifying participants with their children and families. That’s why women with children have a high priority for program admission. In total, WIR has helped 247 women and 517 children since 2009. Today’s 21 graduates have a total of 53 children.

“At WIR, we focus on bringing families together and giving mothers the tools needed to be a sober, dependable role model for their children,” said Mimi Tarrasch, WIR program director. “After every graduation, I am always amazed and so proud of the progress achieved by each participant. It feels good to know I have the opportunity to work with an organization that makes such a great impact on families in Oklahoma.”

In order to graduate from WIR, all participants must be drug/alcohol-free, crime-free, employed, actively participating in community recovery support, engaged in reunification plans with their children and meeting all legal and court requirements. The program includes an aftercare program and three-year follow up evaluation provided by the University of Tulsa. 

The party will be held from 6-8 p.m. Thursday.

In 1999, Pardo – then an 11-year-old girl – and her mother immigrated to the United States from Mexico. The transition was a difficult one for Pardo, as it is for many new residents.

“A lot of times, you don’t know about things, about the help that’s available,” remembered Pardo. Things like free and discounted medical care, credit counseling, educational assistance and other support.  Pardo’s parents didn’t speak English, which further limited the family’s ability to access resources.

Being matched with a mentor in the 7th grade changed the course of Pardo’s life. The woman, with whom Pardo continues a close relationship, dispensed advice and homework assistance, linked the family with available community resources, and helped Pardo learn about and apply for college scholarships.

“She taught me that everything is possible,” said Pardo.

At the University of Oklahoma, Pardo studied political science “because the government makes the decisions in the world.” But she was inspired by her mentor to pursue a career at Family & Children’s Services. Pardo joined the team in October 2012, nearly 10 months after becoming a U.S. citizen. She helps families of children enrolled in the Eastgate and Rosa Parks Head Start and Early Head Start programs improve their parenting skills, secure community resources, set and meet personal goals, and build brighter futures for their families. Many of the families on her caseload are new to the country or don’t speak English.

Pardo considers it a privilege to help people with challenges similar to those she and her family faced. “I’m pretty lucky to be able to be here,” said Pardo. “I’m able to help other families achieve the American dream.”

Family & Children’s Services is currently hiring bilingual family support specialists. Click here to get more inforamtion on available positions or to apply online.

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Children don’t always react the same as adults do to death and tragedy. Typical behavior for kids may include confusion, anger/irritability, nightmares or insomnia, loss of appetite, headaches and stomach aches, regressive behavior (thumb-sucking, bed-wetting, renewed sibling rivalry, demonstrating less responsibility) and difficulty in school.

Don’t try to keep kids in the dark or shield them from all news of the tragedy. Chances are that your kids are going to hear about what’s happened from their friends, via media or from another source. Hiding information isn’t the answer. It’s important to be open and honest, but the approach you take should vary based on your child’s age and understanding.

For preschoolers and very young children:

• Reassure them that they are safe now.
• Give extra hugs and physical comfort.
• Stick to routines as much as possible. Routines are comforting and give a sense of order.
• Monitor what they watch and hear, as some news reports might plant scary images in their heads.
• Answer questions directly and in very clear terms. (For example, “passed on” can be confusing… or if you’re dealing with the death of a family pet, “put to sleep,” isn’t clear enough for most young kids.)
• Don’t be surprised if a child in this age group shows you he’s angry or frightened by showing regressive behavior or by acting things out during her play, or by drawing certain images.

 For grammar school-aged children:

• Don’t provide false reassurance/sugar-coat things. This is an age when children will question you.
• Monitor what they watch and hear, as some news reports might plant scary images in their heads.
• They’ll be able to pick up on your emotions, so admit it if you’re feeling sad or angry – but also reassure them that your job is to take care of them.
• Stick to routines as much as possible.

 For teenagers:

• Monitor what information they get from the news and the Internet, and use those reports as springboards for conversation.
• Realize that while teens may try to play down their worries or “act cool,” that doesn’t mean they’re unfeeling or oblivious.
• Be honest about any financial, physical or emotional impacts the situation has had on your family directly.

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