.
As Oklahomans continue to experience the domino effect of the nation's recession, many relationships have become strained because couples aren't equipped to work as a financial team.

More often than not, couples have very different ideas about budgeting and when to spend and save money. Perhaps one spouse believes saving during hard times is crucial, while the other spouse thinks it's okay to splurge on large items no matter what the economic climate.

"Finances can often be the breaking point in a relationship, especially during hard economic times," says Claudia Arthrell, F&CS director of professional services. "But there are many ways to compromise on finances without comprising your marriage or your family." 

Family & Children's Services offers advice to couples who don't share the same spending habits.

 

Understand Each Other's History

It's important to know how your spouse grew up, what the frugality of their living situation was and how they were taught to handle finances. Knowing the other's history can help you to understand where each is coming from, as well as aid in recognizing your own and the other's spending behavioral patterns.

 

Make a Plan

Sit down calmly to discuss what's best for your family, where you're willing to give in and what you're not wiling to give up. If need be, practice stress management techniques before, during and after the discussion, such as massages, breathing exercises or even playing peaceful music. Take breaks if you need to, but put everything out on the table - including what money is coming in and where it is going. Formulate a clear, strategic plan, one that you are both comfortable with.

 

You are Partners, Not Opponents

Communication is the key to a healthy, successful marriage. If you need help, a neutral third party member, such as a financial advisor, may be able to offer sound financial advice and innovative ideas on saving and spending. A marriage counselor can also help you to find fresh ways to communicate without becoming each other's verbal punching bag.

 

For more information about marriage counseling or relationship classes at Family & Children's Services, call 918.587.9471, or visit the agency's Web site at www.fcsok.org.