Dear Ecstacy and Weed,
I’m not sorry this has to end. We were never happy; we just thought we were happy. You just happened to be there in that moment when I was 16, when I felt I needed help, felt lost, was confused and just needed some answers. We are always looking for answers to everything. I turned to you when I needed a friend; I turned to you when I couldn’t admit that I needed help. I turned to you when nobody else was there. You were there when I was unaware of where I was headed.
You made me believe that I was good enough to love, that I could be happy. You made me believe that I was doing good when I wasn’t. But your kind of happy is not forever and it’s not realistic. Staying away from you has made me realize that I can accomplish happiness without you there, that I am good enough. We all have greatness inside of us – we just have to find it. I have stopped looking for answers and learned that I have to find it within myself. I can see that good things are headed my way, and I have survived through the dark storm that was in my life because I got rid of the one thing holding me down.
I will not let you tear my life apart anymore. This is goodbye forever.
Emily is a participant in the Women in Recovery (WIR) program at Family & Children’s Services. Emily joined WIR, which provides an alternative to incarceration for women who’ve committed non-violent criminal offenses, in January 2012. The 22-year-old mother was facing a sentence of six years to life for attempting to obtain forged prescriptions, grand larceny and other related charges. After completing WIR, Emily hopes to attend college and become an author.
* name changed to protect client’s identity